Literacy Narrative
Struggling to succeed
There are many aspects of our life which have shaped us to who we are today. To some it had to do with culture, race while for others it was family, teachers. Everyone of us has different experiences which helped us grow. My experience is connected to my culture, family and teachers.
My first language is not English. I was born in a Pakistani household making my first language Urdu.
I can speak both English and Urdu. Being able to grasp and understand both cultures has shaped the man I am today in my English language and literacy. But the fact is I was not always able to speak English.
It started when I reached second grade. I remember one day going home being hit with the news that we’ll be moving to the US Hearing the news I started jumping around in excitement, why? Because that’s where my father was, and I was happy to finally see him after a while. The next week or so I remember saying my goodbyes to my close friends and we left for the US. Shortly after I arrived in the country my father admitted me to a school called PS8.
The first day of class my father went to drop me off. I remember feeling scared and lost because for me it was a whole other world. When I got to my class, my teacher Miss potato introduced me to my classmates. She was already notified by the principal that I barely spoke English, and so therefore she assigned the smartest student in the class to sit next every day and help me with my English. He was Indian because of which he could somewhat understand me when I spoke Urdu. In the beginning of the year, for about 4-5 months what I studied was different from the English class. The text I would receive would be much easier compared with the rest. I would ask my student helper with words I didn’t know while also getting special attention from my teacher who would help me to read and decipher the text. I myself started to listen and observe the other students and my teacher writing down words I didn’t get with the help of my helper, sometimes asking him the meaning while I wrote the words down or asking my teacher. Then the next day I would try to use the words while I spoke, adding them to my vocabulary. The progress I was making was very slow at the time. Due to this my father was called in to school where he was told that if this keeps up, I might have to repeat the grade since if they let me move up in grade, I won’t be able to perform well.
The problem was not that I was not studying, it had to do with my situation at home. My mother also did not know English at the time. While I was starting to learn English in my school, that was not the case for my mother. Because of this at home I spoke Urdu which led to a constant back and forth from English to Urdu to English. That was the reason why I was not able to progress more in my English language. After my mom heard what the principal had told my father about the chances of me repeating my grade, she started to push me to speak English even at home even if she did not know any English, she still tried to help me as much as she could. Telling my brother to converse with me in English, sometimes even asking him some sentences she could say to me. Seeing the fact how much my mother cared, it really did something to me. She used to say, “I don’t want you to be like me, I want you to be smart, intelligent and confident”. Those words had a huge impact on me and still to this day I remember what she said to me clearly. After that I spoke English, every day be it at school or home. Time went by and I got better. My teacher would take weekly quizzes on reading and deciphering a text, writing a story/narrative, to even have a proper conversation with her in English. 4-5 months after school had started, I began taking English classes along with the other students. I started understanding the gist of what was being taught and my English language was at the level where what I spoke was understandable.
In those 4-5 months I had only one friend which was my student helper. Due to my English language, I was hesitant to approach the other students but after 4-5 months I had gained some confidence in my English language and started to put myself out there. Doing so helped me in making some genuine friends. Friends that helped me throughout the remainder of the year one of them was Evan. He was my best friend. He lived in the building complex across the street from mine. We both used to do everything together. He would often come to my place, and we would study together. I helped him in math, and he would help me in English. Besides Evan there was Ariana and Lena. The 4 of us had our own little group. Interacting with students my age really helped me with my communication. It made me more comfortable with my speech to the point I started participating in class. My brother and I then started to help my mother with her English. We would both take turns teaching her what some words meant, while also helping her with her pronunciation. In the end because of the supportive people around me I managed to pass my 2nd grade moving to the 3rd grade along with my friends.
Learning English and getting to the point where I could speak and understand it helped me to better understand the culture/history of America. It put me in the middle having knowledge of my Pakistani culture and gaining knowledge of the American culture. I remember whenever I used to visit my aunt in New Jersey she would say “you were born here but you don’t even know the history or the culture”. Later that year when I visited her, she saw how much I had improved with my language and how I came to know a little about the history/culture of America. It made her happy so happy that she took me out that day and told me I can have whatever I want. It’s truly amazing to see how much something as little as this means to someone. Unlike my siblings I was born here in the US because of which I have always felt some sort of connection to this place and being able to learn/connect with the culture of your birth country made me happy.
After I completed my elementary school I then moved back to Pakistan. This time I had a problem with my Urdu language I could speak but I couldn’t read or write Urdu. Not doing anything other then just speaking Urdu in those 4 years made me forget how to read or write. In the eight years I have lived there after elementary school I wasn’t given the attention I needed for me to regain my Urdu literacy which I had lost. To make sure I didn’t forget my English beside school I would talk to my brother in English and practice writing under my sister. Because of that now after 8 years in Pakistan I’m still able to speak, write and read English while for my Urdu even now I’m only still able to speak it. There are a lot of events that shaped my language but the most important one will always be the beginning of my Journey.
